Sunday Mornings and Expectations

It is Sunday Morning and everyone is still asleep. Most Sunday mornings we would be on our way to church by now, but today my DS1 is teaching at his church, which doesn't start until 1:30 pm, and we are going there instead so we can, both listen. and support him.

So here I sit quietly by myself, contemplating things. 

Yesterday, DS3, told me his girlfriend is expecting. Yes, that's right she is expecting a baby, I really don't know why we use the word, "expecting". she is not expecting a baby, she is having a baby. As if it could be a puppy! Pregnant! 5 months along! I see this girl everyday and I never suspected a thing. Anyways, ever since I got the news I have been, well I am not sure what, I mean, I want grandchildren, I am just not even sure what I mean. I just wish it was under better circumstances. So last night I came to the conclusion, it is what it is, nothing I can do to change it, so I might as well be happy about it. Let go and let God. I leaned that lesson a long time ago and really don't want a repeat. 

So, I am going to be a grandma. Not sure what I want to be called yet. Nana, I hate! sounds like an old goat, I hope I am not offending anyone out there. I told my kids I was going to be Grand-ma-ma, back when none of this even mattered, but now I am not sure. I am pretty sure my husband will be papa, but as for me, I am still open to suggestions. I love this baby already, even though I am not too happy with the parents at the moment. It does no good to harp on it though, it will serve only in alienating the mother, which in turn will alienate my grandchild. So here I am still trying to take it all in. My son just turned 22, this month, He is two years older then I was when I had my first and one year older then my husband, but we were married, not that it made it any easier, but at least the circumstances were a little better. I told him it was time to grow up, no more goofing off, he said he knows, and he is very excited, so that at least is good. 

All plans now have to be put on hold. What makes this more complicated then them not being married is that my DS3, got into some trouble about a year ago and is waiting for his trial. Right now he is out on bail, which is why he has moved back in with us, it was court ordered. In fact he is not allowed to leave our property without me or my husband. That is a huge complication. Means unless one of us takes him he is not even allowed to go to Dr. appointments. See how this is going to affect us all?  

Anyhow, time for me to get up and get moving, on with my day, on with my life. It is a good life, even if things don't always go as I have planed them. I learned a  long time ago to roll with the punches, and lets face it, a baby is not that bad a punch.